two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
