he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
