Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
