I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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