I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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