is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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