she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
