Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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