so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
