Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
