who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
