Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
