Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
