I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
