oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
