grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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