You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
