i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
