So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
