So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
