theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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