I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
