it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
