We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
