I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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