I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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