Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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