I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
