I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
