Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
