dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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