It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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