Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
