Pappa wants mamma naked
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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