I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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