everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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