It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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