he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
