It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
