You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
