i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
