Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
