At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
