a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
