Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
