I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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