You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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