I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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