Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
