i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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