I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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